Is This It? A novel

Is This It?

Longlisted for the 2024 Mslexia Novel Competition.

My debut novel Is This It? begins in 1983. In the heart of rural England, sixteen-year-old Marigold lives with her mother Polly and six siblings in a dilapidated farmhouse; a house which Polly originally squatted in the 1970s.

Marigold, Polly’s eldest child, feels neglected and not listened to. She has plans for her life and is distraught that carefree Polly is pregnant again.

Deciding to leave home without telling her family Marigold heads off, a painful event especially as she is very attached to Willow, her two-year-old brother, who she has helped care for since his birth.

She is innocent and vulnerable. The world outside her sheltered home comes as a shock. Briefly homeless she has a frightening experience. However, she has a driving force, to be financially secure and earn recognition.  Marigold, with her organised but on occasion scheming ways, is helped along the way.

Three decades pass by and she has achieved her goal. From the outside looking in, her life could be considered good but it is built upon lies and deceit. Guilt and shame begin to invade her consciousness. Recurring memories haunt her. Is this the life she has really aspired to? Suspicious of others, she is forced to confront her life.

Meeting two striking individuals, Tara and Jules, is a turning point as she slowly starts to realise other possibilities. Jules’s powerful presence with his probing questions provokes her to raise questions within herself. Will she listen to her heart? What can the future hold for her? A sudden meeting with the past creates change, and a decision she is forced to make.